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Three Minute Tease

The Ant has formed Three Minute Tease with Andy Metcalfe an Morris Windsor. Help us release our debut album!


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Hey folks…. As some of you know I’ve been working on a groovy new album with Andy Metcalfe and Morris Windsor. I know it’s supposed to be form band, then go solo, but I’m happy to be working the opposite way! We’re called Three Minute Tease and we’ve already recorded basic tracks for 10 songs – I’m sure it’s gonna be the “Blood on the Tiger Mountain Over the Sea” of the new millennium. By and large, it’s a pop record featuring all the usual ingredients you’ve come to expect from an Anton album – mothers, nurses, apples, onions, aliens, dust and wildlife – crafted into sharp, catchy shape by Messers Metcalfe and Windsor and hopefully, me.

While I was happy just to get my previous album out of my system, I want to get this record out into the world, so I’m hoping for your support. We’re launching this new Pledge campaign to raise money to go back into the studio to finish recording, pay for a PR campaign, and possible self-release. Like last year, we’re offering lots of Pledging options including two EPs, cakes, dinner with the band, and exclusives for Pledgers such as in-progress demos, downloadable tracks, behind-the-scenes making-of vids, live gig footage, interviews with Andy and Morris, and more.

This album has been a real collaborative effort between the three of us and has been a joy to work on so far. We’re thrilled with the results and hope you’ll be a part of bringing this record into the world. Thank you for all your support. For more, watch the intro vid!

10% post goal
10% of any money raised after the goal is reached will go to Sweet Relief.


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Custard Stump ep

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Five songs recorded at the Funkhaus in Berlin with Morris right before we started working with Andy. These tracks don’t fit the album, but you can still see how they led up to it. Includes a WEIRD duet with Del Crum, “I Can’t Ignore Myself.”

Magic Duck ep

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Another batch of songs related to the Three Minute Tease album, this includes “Can I Hold Yr Baby” and “I’ve Been Distorted,” which were written with the album in mind but didn’t fit the Final Vibe. “Trouble Was Born” came along after we’d settled on the ten songs for the record, though I was tempted to get some Andy and Morris slathered on just in case. Maybe we’ll re-do this one for a next album – it’s a fun song to play live. “Magic Duck” I have no way of explaining. Simple as that! But it, uh…. rocks. And it Belongs somewhere, so here it is!


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Yes, we’re again offering home-made cakes. Your choice of lemon, ginger or raspberry sandwich, though our Head Baker is open to other cake-flavas’. We’ll deliver to selected locations in the UK – Cambridge, Oxford and Brighton no prob. Contact me for other possible cake places!

CD -Three Minute Tease debut!

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CD delivered to your mailbox as soon as it’s manufactured

"Back to Balmain" on cassette

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Original shrink-wrapped copy of full-length album on tape from 1987! Includes lyric sheet. Some of you might get it when I say this was the “Splendid Tray” of my tape years, and it holds up well, in spite of the “Peggy Jo Rap!” Highly collectable.

band photo, autographed by the band

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Yep, band photo snapped by our Karen Eng, signed by Ant, Andy and Morris. Your choice of photo from a small selection.

"I broke the company rules for you... don't I get a banana?"

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T shirt. We don’t have this one designed yet, but it’ll look lovely. And we assure you there will be no Velvet Warhol banana copyright issues!

Signed original Antwerk

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This was fun/challenging last time. I ain’t a “proper” artist, but I’m always working things into weird shape. I’ll do a drawing, a painting, a photo or possibly I’ll even do one of my legendary “cheese on a tree” installations. I’m open to suggestions, or I can just conjure something COMPLETELY SANE (and Ebay ready!) and let you suffer the consequences. But I’ll strive to create something you’ll be happy to have in your home or garden!

Misc. Ant disk pack - your choice of three Ant CDs

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Pick 3 CDs from this selection: “Plastic Guitar,” “Waterbugs & Beetles,” “Drug Free,” “Psychedelic Mynde of Moses” and Allyson Seconds’ “Bag of Kittens” (written/produced by Ant).

bowl of cereal with Ant (Birdwood only)

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We grabbed LOADS of Special K (w/dried peaches and apricots) on special offer recently, but it’d be no prob to pick up something else. Or you can bring your own. Certainly doesn’t have to be a breakfast thing, either. Price includes a 45-minute post-bowl digestion “visit,” meaning sitting in the lounge watching either shark shows or a Bundesliga if there’s one on. I’m happy to have “Magical Mystery Tour” or “Telekon” playing over the football – I’m not fussy.

Ant records the Ant song of your choice/dreams

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This was a fun one last time. You pick an Anton song out of the epic bag of many, and I’ll record a fresh version just for ye. Heck, I’ll even take your production suggestions into consideration…. you wanna new version of “The Heather Song” with a jazzy sax solo? I’ll think about it!

Have the Ant overdub a track on your song

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If you’ve got a song of your own you’re working on and want to have it infected with the virus of my VIBE, just let me know! I’ll add backing vocals or synth or piano…. whatever you suggest within my range and reach. I love projects like this and if you ain’t sure of what I send, I’m happy to have another go…

House concert (Ant solo) UK

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I’m not greedy, so I’m willing to negotiate on cost. I do want to make more than just my costs, so let’s say £80 above expenses. I’ll play for up to an hour straight or I can do two 30 minute sets. Unplugged in your living room, or in any club you can book me in. I play requests, I sing in tune and am house-trained! I’m in Cambridge, but will travel to Oxford, London, Weymouth, Leeds, Liverpool or perhaps even somewhere else!

Three Minute Tease house concert (UK)

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With me, Andy and Morris spread out across the UK, we have to keep this one somewhat within reach, but if you can cover our expenses and offer us something decent on top of that, we can likely sort out a nice show for you! Cambridge, Oxford, Swindon, London and Gloucester are easy enough for us to reach, but we’re willing to consider otherwheres as well…

House concert (Ant solo) Europe

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House or club, whatever you like. I’ll play up to two sets, and any requests you like! We can talk details at a later date…. Berlin, Hamburg, Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia, Paris, Amsterdam…. name another place and let’s talk…

Three Minute Tease concert (Europe)

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We’ll play 2 sets in your house, or in a club (you’ll have to book the club!). Travel/accommodation/food need to be covered, plus a fair fee on top. But we’re friendly people and we’ll only bite if you want us to! Germany and Spain are obvious starting points, but we’d love to see you in Paris or perhaps Rotterdam…

Dinner with Steven

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Ok, this is one of the trickier ones. I’m offering you the chance to have dinner with our housemate Steven. He usually starts cooking at around 6:30 and is in the lounge eating with the tv on by 7. Mondays he does pasta, and often fish on Fridays. Sometimes a curry mid-week. Thing is, I haven’t asked him about whether he’d be into this or not, it’s more just for the sake of seeing how freaked out he’d be. Maybe it would be fine – he eats a pretty big plate and it might do him good to have to share.

Ant house concert (USA)

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House concert back in the good ol’ USA. Expenses need to be covered, plus just barely enough to make me rich! I suppose the cost will vary depending if I’m already in the States, so the figure listed is A LITTLE BIT LOOSE! California is easy, if we time it for when I’m already home, and the east coast is always possible – New York, Boston etc…

Three Minute Tease in the USA

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I’d love to bring the band back to the Homeland. I’m not as brilliant a businessman as Trump, Gates and that lot would have you believe, but as ever, I need to start with some numbers that look like I’m doing this right! If you can cover our expenses and offer us something kindly on top, we can probably get something nice sorted out. If you’re really keen for us to play “Love is Onion” in your kitchen, we’ll find a way to work it out. Fingers crossed here! California/East Coast, but open to other offers…

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